Grace is a conspiracy theorist. From the time she was a wee girl in daycare, when you picked her up it was always an extensive play by play of who had done her wrong that day. Who pushed, who threw sand in her eye, who said they weren’t her friend. She still does it. For example, today a girl name Champagne didn’t let Grace help in cooking class, and “She ain’t the only one in the class” Grace tells me with a little head waggle. (The liberal use of ain’t in Grace’s vocabulary is a whole different day’s post).
Grace is also a hypochondriac. I actually had a betting pool at the beginning of the school year because 10 days into the school year, I think she had been to the school nurse 11 or 12 times. The nurse eventually stopped calling twice a day, so I lost a verifiable count, and the pool was disbanded. But it didn’t stop the visits – gum in the hair, head banged on the monkey bars, head still hurting, stomach ache, rash, you name it. I got one call from her summer program that her ear was bothering her, but she was fine, she just wanted me to know. I live in fear of the call from the nurse, the call where she says “Grace says she told you, but you sent her to school anyway”. Its hard to explain to them that really! She is faking it! without sounding a little cold.
Today, I walked into the summer program to pick the girls up, and Grace was sitting on a chair, and the guy who was on American Idol (according to the girls) was unwrapping bandages on her legs. She has no skin on her knees. O.k., she has some skin, but she has these terrible scrapes on her knees, and her elbow, and a little on her chin.
Not only did I not get a call, but it was a clean fall – she didn’t blame a soul. Maybe she hit her head, too?
Either way, we will be limping through the next few days, and I can’t help but think I should have gotten a call this time. I think that my girl’s been done wrong.
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Growing up, the rule at our house was if you don’t have a high fever or are throwing up, you’re going to school. I don’t remember any rule regarding bleeding, but my guess is that it would have been “put a band-aid on it and go back to class”. I have at least two hypochondriacs at our house (can’t tell yet with Sophie, we’ll have to wait until she can say more words) which is in direct opposition to the rule stated above. Probably a good balance, or we’d be in the ER every single day.
My second son is a hypochondriac. He was once convinced that he had breast cancer. Because of this, we tend to ignore him. Then came the day that the school called because he had a raging ear infection and pus was coming out of his head. We just can’t get it right!