Tug of War with God

Last week when I had breakfast with my friend Shira, she told me doesn’t like “the sad ones”.  Unfortunately, we seem to have our share of “sad ones” this year.  So I give this post a “Shira Warning” for Some Sad Content.

Phil’s mother is in the hospital in pretty rough shape, and I am struggling to find any shreds of hope for her eventual recovery.  In spite of the Shira Warning, I will spare you details, but as I was sitting with her Sunday morning there were a lot of things running through my head, not the least of which was the impact of this on Andra.  She has been struggling lately, and in her words “I am still just really sad about Pop Pop”.  This can’t help.  But looking at Phil’s mother, I can’t imagine the energy it would take for her to recover, and I am struggling to watch the medical measures the doctors must make to prove they did their best, while weighing the more basic “What’s really best for Lynnda” question.  I haven’t yet found a way to preserve both Andra’s and Lynnda’s best interests, and really it isn’t all up to me, I guess.  

In the end, here is what I came up with to explain it all to Andra, and it made me feel better too.  The last time she asked me if the doctors had figured out what was wrong with Grandma, I told her that sometimes, when someone is sick, that maybe it is a little like playing tug of war with God.  That he was pulling on his side to get Grandma in to heaven, and the doctors and the people who love her were pulling on this side to keep her here.  It makes us feel better to just know she is on our side, but maybe there is a reason that God is pulling so hard.  In the end, he is stronger than all of us, and maybe, instead of that big mud puddle in the middle, when we let go of the rope Grandma will fall right in to heaven.  She got a good chuckle out of the mud puddle visual, and I got to see her smile.  Maybe we will give it one last heave ho and see what happens.

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