Five Cow Woman, or why I want the Bling

When I was in junior high, we watched a movie about the Five Cow Woman.  It was a self esteem movie about a woman who wasn’t pretty or otherwise remarkable, who didn’t have many romantic prospects.  Her father was despairing that she would ever marry.  As all her pretty, smart friends commanded gifts from grooms’ families of a goat or a cow, she began to doubt her worth. Then a friend went for two cows.  Then one for three cows.  At this point, she, along with her family, are sure she has no value.

Then, in the distance, he appears – a handsome stranger, headed for our main character with not one cow No!  Not two cows.  No! But FIVE, count them, five cows.   Unheard of! She gains status, and the whole village knows she is a woman of beauty, and great worth.  She is a Five Cow Woman.

I have a hard time assessing my self worth at times – for years I was the French Political Science and Accounting major who was spunky and fun. Then I was a Senior/Manager/Senior Manager in Big Four accounting and I was Protector of Capital Markets.  I am a mom, and a wife, but all these things are hard to translate into a mental sense of self worth. 

So last year, when we went to dinner with Phil’s partners and their wives, I looked around.  I was surrounded by five cow women.  Or should I say, five carat women. They all had a huge right hand diamond.  All of them but me. 

And thus, I began my campaign.  Phil agreed that the right hand ring was in order for the big anniversary (15).  Of course, as it goes in our world, trying to get the two of us together for a leisure activity like ring shopping is nearly impossible, so we haven’t actually managed to buy the ring.  Plus, I get sidetracked thinking that it is wrong to buy shiny things instead of a well in a poor country, or a pool, or some other body of water.  I know, I could go CZ, or be reasonable, but I have done that.  My life is reasonable.   I took 8 am classes in college. I bought a four door sedan when I graduated from college. I follow all the rules.  I am so done with reasonable.  I want the Bling.  And I want it big.  

I suppose in part, it is that desire to be the Five Cow Woman.  How else will everyone know how great I  am?  How else will I know how that handsome stranger loves me?  I have totally convinced myself I deserve that ring.  You deserve it too…

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5 Responses to Five Cow Woman, or why I want the Bling

  1. Charley says:

    Go for that big rock! It certainly won’t make you a better person but we only go through this gig called life once.

  2. Mostly Jenine says:

    Your support is duly noted, Charley. Hope you are staying warm in the North country!

  3. jennie says:

    Its not about your worth, its about how good you’ll look in it’s shine. How pretty you’ll look in it’s reflection. I say big ring, earrings or necklace. Any of them would be fine.

  4. YO says:

    So does this mean that I am only a 3 cow woman? Or can I include my earrings and engagement ring? Then I’m a 6 cow woman.

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