Now Hiring – Cabinet Positions

Well, now that I have selected a running mate who I am pretty sure won’t embarrass the ticket (My Uncle Pat), I am moving on to consider cabinet positions.  Click here for the standard cabinet positions, currently. 

I think that in a bold move, I would leave most of the current members in place for one year to either transition, or continue to prove their mettle.  I know on the PTO it is so disruptive to switch all positions at once, and since we are going to be making some bold changes, most of these guys can stay.  Obvious culprits excepted.

But what I am also going to do, it create NEW positions.

When I asked my friend Computer Bob what his position would be, he told me he wants this new position:


Chief Hatchet Man. It will be my job to cut the fat from the federal government. I figure I can pay for the financial bailout within a few months by chopping out the waste and firing all the oxygen thieves occupying desks in federal office buildings across the country. The DEA would be the first to go. There’s an agency that’s been a complete failure and waste of money. The Department of Education would be next. The seal of my office can be the grim reaper carrying a double bladed axe. Everyone feeding at the public trough will quake in fear when I come knocking. 

Position? Granted.  Tell me what you might want and I will take it under consideration. 

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5 Responses to Now Hiring – Cabinet Positions

  1. jennie says:

    I think my dad would make a fine choice for your running mate. While I think he wouldn’t embarass you for strategic or intellectual reasons, please remember that one of his favorite things in life is TO EMBARASS PEOPLE.

  2. Mostly Jenine says:

    I have heard that the VP Pick is suffering some previously undisclosed health issues. If he gets too carried away, like rolls down the window in the carwash on the prime minister of somewhere, he may be too sick to continue…

  3. Marcia says:

    I think it might be better to have a vp who embarrasses others by design, rather than unconsiously.

  4. Mostly Jenine says:

    GREAT point. And no one has better designs than Pat.

  5. construct says:

    Who are the coupons?

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