Day 8. Not so great.

I gave a lot today.  I gave quite a few people grief.  I gave quite a bit of lip.  I gave my job all the cranky frenetic energy I had.  I actually accomplished all kinds of things I have been needing to get done, and yet, instead of feeling satisfied and productive, I was just annoyed. 

Everything seemed way harder than it should have, and everyone had questions.  QUESTIONS!  The NERVE.

All things considered, I didn’t feel very giving, and I wasn’t entirely focused on what I could offer the universe.  I read last night, and the gal in the book is getting a little annoying, and throwing away her bra because the medicine woman told her to in a divination, and I can’t relate.  Then I dreamed last night about missing my flight to go on vacation with my family, but only after dreaming that I nagged Phil relentlessly about being to the airport 2 hours early, because it was an international flight.  Then Grace whined all morning about me helping her find her homework, which she dreamed was at our house, but which was really at the neighbors house. 

I ate at my desk, came straight home from the girl’s dance class and talked to no one except the people who have to talk to me at work.  Giving opportunities limited.

I tried to give a present to Bob, but I was trying to use a coupon, and it didn’t work because it was some nebulous spam coupon I was dumb enough to think was real.  Anyway, I guess that kind of giving isn’t what it is all about.

So I am under the gun, and Project Runway is almost over, and the book says if you miss a day you have to start over.  Day 8 is usually the end of the road for me.  It is the day I stop taking antibiotics.  It is the day I would go back on the juice if I ever pretended to try and quit drinking coffee.  So really, it is a pretty big day for me and to complete my BE BETTER 2010 campaign, I can’t give up now.

The only thing I have left to give, today, is my next big idea.    Look up.

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